Day Three of The 21-Day Relationship Reset Challenge will encourage you to reexamine the boundaries that you’ve established around your relationship. One of the fastest ways to sabotage your relationship is by discussing what goes on in your relationship with your friends. The problem with that is everyone isn’t your friend, and everyone isn’t cheering for your happiness. Don’t know who your friends are? Here’s how you find out…
Start talking about everything that’s good, going right, and happy in your life—especially if your happiness is the direct result of a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your significant other. Then, watch how they react to and listen to what they say about your happiness. If they appear to be genuinely happy for you, then it’s highly likely that they’re truly down for you. If they don’t, that should be a clear indication to you that they’re not truly your friend.
Those are the people you need to keep OUTSIDE of the boundary that you establish around your relationship—and around everything else in your life that contributes to your happiness, for that matter. Misery loves company, and will always show up in the form of a person pretending to be in your corner to help you get through to the other side of your problems.
These people just can’t help themselves. They truly believe that they have your best interest at heart, which is all they need to allow themselves to think that it’s okay to poke their noses in your business; especially when it comes to giving you advice on how to handle the goings-on in your relationship.
The thing to keep in mind here is that you’re not in a relationship with them; therefore, you don’t have to tolerate that level of intrusion into your relationship. You must be careful to NOT make the mistake of allowing people too close to anything or anyone important enough to keep in your inner-circle because their negative energy will only rob you of your happiness, deplete your energy, and disturb your peace.
So, how do you set appropriate boundaries around your relationship? There’s no easy, one-size-fits-all approach to effectively and efficiently stop people from overstepping. No two relationships are the same, which is why it’s so difficult to this topic is so difficult to approach.
The quickest way to start setting appropriate boundaries around your relationship is by raising your comfort level with using your words to express your thoughts and feelings about the inappropriateness of any type of unsolicited advice, commentary, etc. about your relationship.
Your words will prove to be the most effective tool you can use to construct an impenetrable boundary around your relationship because your words have the power—how you use that power to defend what’s yours is up to you.
As you begin to think about the boundaries in relationships, your challenge will be to think about the boundaries that have been established around your relationship and jot them down. While you’re thinking, take a moment to consider the reasons why those boundaries were established, and write those reasons next to the corresponding boundaries.
Next, think about the aspects of your relationship those boundaries were meant to protect, and make note of those aspects. After you’ve completed your list, encourage your significant other to do the same.
Once you’ve completed your list, your real challenge will be to initiate an open, honest, transparent conversation with your significant other about the boundaries that you both noted. Ideally, this exercise will spark a level of conversation that will only serve to strengthen the boundaries that currently surround your relationship because it will force you and your significant other to either define, redefine, recognize, or fortify the boundaries that were established to protect your relationship.
Your willingness to work through this challenge will not only help you strengthen your relationship by fortifying the boundaries that undergird your relationship, but also by strengthening the foundation upon which your relationship is built.
The fourth topic will be introduced on in the coming days, so be sure to subscribe to TheWifeFiles and to follow us on all social media @TheWifeFiles so that you can follow along until the end of the challenge. We look forward to connecting with you.
Thank you for accepting this challenge!
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